Discussion:
the beautiful beast - fanfic 1
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Carla
2009-08-31 07:35:49 UTC
Permalink
THE BEUTIFUL BEAST by Carla

ChapterOne ---

I am a tonb raider. My name is Laura Croft, and Im good at steeling
things an shoting gunz which makes people hate me, but onli jelous ones
that dont do what I dare. I kill lotz of peple but only if they
deserve it or anoy me. I am rich.

One day I was riding my harley around my mmansion - outside, of
course,, when guys in cold black suits come and told me I had to come
with them to a meting. I thougt about killing them cuz they anoied me
but didny because they had badges and said they worked for the queen of england.

I made them wait while I canged into my clothes. I wrigled into a
tight top that sowed my huge rack and a miniskirt that left my legs
visible nakedly and a pair of choice combat boots in the case I had to
kick somone. I look hot. the suit guyz told me to leave my guns but I
thought fuk them, and hid a small flat pistle and deringer and knife and
sum exploders in my black ninja cloak which I wore over my clothes. I
tie my long brown hair in a bif braid and whip it around like a tail. I
look like angelina joly if she were realy cool!

‘Laura! The queen needs you!!!’ one of the suit men yelled.

‘let the old witch wait’ I barked maenacingly..........’I have more
money that she dos anyway!’ I hid so more amunition between my huge
boobs. I checked my look in the mirror. hot in a most threateningly way!


We drove to the palace in a big silver rolsroyce car, the two men
tried to sit against me but I stepped on their foot with my big boots
and they got the message. look but dont touch, unless I say so!!!

At the queens house they took me in the secret door. Four corgies ran
up to me...I wanted to shoot them but rememered I was supposed to b
unarmed without guns. So I just kiked 1 instead. There was lotz of stuff
to steal along the way, but the suit guys was watching me. Waching my
big bubbies acktualy. So I didnt.

That old bat was waiting in her sitting room - I was unimpressed! I
could been queen with her lucky breaks, but it didnt matter cause I was
richer and prettyer too. I arched my back to show her.

The suit men did not wat to leave ( they were slobering ) but the
queen waved them out with a darkly glanse and we were soon alone.

‘We hav a problem Lady Croftt.’ She said croaking.

Oh! It was LADY crft now was it!!! I leand backin my big gold and satin
chair with its high arched back and waited disinterstedly. I put my
boots up on a matched poof. She needed me, not the other way around or
so it seem[ed to me.

“as Isay...a prob;lem.’ She finally barked. ‘ One of our secrets
agents has become rouge, and its not th first time. we cant have that
sort of thing you know ( britich accent ).

[‘ What do you want me to do about it’ I demanded smiling

‘We want you to hunt him and kill him too.’

‘He’’s dead...whats his name?’’ I said sounding bored.

‘his name is James Bond 007!’ spok the Queeen.

--------

Next chapter( chapter too ) = laura visits a z00.
Steve Collins
2009-08-30 13:46:28 UTC
Permalink
Can you at least spell her name correctly? Lara!

Spell-check, anyone?

Digital Strunk and White would be nice as well.

Otherwise, keep up the good work...
Post by Carla
THE BEUTIFUL BEAST by Carla
ChapterOne ---
I am a tonb raider. My name is Laura Croft, and Im good at steeling
things an shoting gunz which makes people hate me, but onli jelous ones
that dont do what I dare. I kill lotz of peple but only if they
deserve it or anoy me. I am rich.
One day I was riding my harley around my mmansion - outside, of
course,, when guys in cold black suits come and told me I had to come
with them to a meting. I thougt about killing them cuz they anoied me
but didny because they had badges and said they worked for the queen of england.
I made them wait while I canged into my clothes. I wrigled into a
tight top that sowed my huge rack and a miniskirt that left my legs
visible nakedly and a pair of choice combat boots in the case I had to
kick somone. I look hot. the suit guyz told me to leave my guns but I
thought fuk them, and hid a small flat pistle and deringer and knife and
sum exploders in my black ninja cloak which I wore over my clothes. I
tie my long brown hair in a bif braid and whip it around like a tail. I
look like angelina joly if she were realy cool!
'Laura! The queen needs you!!!' one of the suit men yelled.
'let the old witch wait' I barked maenacingly..........'I have more
money that she dos anyway!' I hid so more amunition between my huge
boobs. I checked my look in the mirror. hot in a most threateningly way!
We drove to the palace in a big silver rolsroyce car, the two men
tried to sit against me but I stepped on their foot with my big boots
and they got the message. look but dont touch, unless I say so!!!
At the queens house they took me in the secret door. Four corgies ran
up to me...I wanted to shoot them but rememered I was supposed to b
unarmed without guns. So I just kiked 1 instead. There was lotz of stuff
to steal along the way, but the suit guys was watching me. Waching my
big bubbies acktualy. So I didnt.
That old bat was waiting in her sitting room - I was unimpressed! I
could been queen with her lucky breaks, but it didnt matter cause I was
richer and prettyer too. I arched my back to show her.
The suit men did not wat to leave ( they were slobering ) but the
queen waved them out with a darkly glanse and we were soon alone.
'We hav a problem Lady Croftt.' She said croaking.
Oh! It was LADY crft now was it!!! I leand backin my big gold and satin
chair with its high arched back and waited disinterstedly. I put my
boots up on a matched poof. She needed me, not the other way around or
so it seem[ed to me.
"as Isay...a prob;lem.' She finally barked. ' One of our secrets
agents has become rouge, and its not th first time. we cant have that
sort of thing you know ( britich accent ).
[' What do you want me to do about it' I demanded smiling
'We want you to hunt him and kill him too.'
'He''s dead...whats his name?'' I said sounding bored.
'his name is James Bond 007!' spok the Queeen.
--------
Next chapter( chapter too ) = laura visits a z00.
McG.
2009-08-31 17:32:55 UTC
Permalink
Gosh Bruce, you worked just a *little* too hard at hip hop misspelling for
it to work. ;-)
McG.
Post by Carla
THE BEUTIFUL BEAST by Carla
ChapterOne ---
I am a tonb raider. My name is Laura Croft, and Im good at steeling
things an shoting gunz which makes people hate me, but onli jelous ones
that dont do what I dare. I kill lotz of peple but only if they
deserve it or anoy me. I am rich.
One day I was riding my harley around my mmansion - outside, of
course,, when guys in cold black suits come and told me I had to come
with them to a meting. I thougt about killing them cuz they anoied me
but didny because they had badges and said they worked for the queen of england.
I made them wait while I canged into my clothes. I wrigled into a
tight top that sowed my huge rack and a miniskirt that left my legs
visible nakedly and a pair of choice combat boots in the case I had to
kick somone. I look hot. the suit guyz told me to leave my guns but I
thought fuk them, and hid a small flat pistle and deringer and knife and
sum exploders in my black ninja cloak which I wore over my clothes. I
tie my long brown hair in a bif braid and whip it around like a tail. I
look like angelina joly if she were realy cool!
'Laura! The queen needs you!!!' one of the suit men yelled.
'let the old witch wait' I barked maenacingly..........'I have more
money that she dos anyway!' I hid so more amunition between my huge
boobs. I checked my look in the mirror. hot in a most threateningly way!
We drove to the palace in a big silver rolsroyce car, the two men
tried to sit against me but I stepped on their foot with my big boots
and they got the message. look but dont touch, unless I say so!!!
At the queens house they took me in the secret door. Four corgies ran
up to me...I wanted to shoot them but rememered I was supposed to b
unarmed without guns. So I just kiked 1 instead. There was lotz of stuff
to steal along the way, but the suit guys was watching me. Waching my
big bubbies acktualy. So I didnt.
That old bat was waiting in her sitting room - I was unimpressed! I
could been queen with her lucky breaks, but it didnt matter cause I was
richer and prettyer too. I arched my back to show her.
The suit men did not wat to leave ( they were slobering ) but the
queen waved them out with a darkly glanse and we were soon alone.
'We hav a problem Lady Croftt.' She said croaking.
Oh! It was LADY crft now was it!!! I leand backin my big gold and satin
chair with its high arched back and waited disinterstedly. I put my
boots up on a matched poof. She needed me, not the other way around or
so it seem[ed to me.
"as Isay...a prob;lem.' She finally barked. ' One of our secrets
agents has become rouge, and its not th first time. we cant have that
sort of thing you know ( britich accent ).
[' What do you want me to do about it' I demanded smiling
'We want you to hunt him and kill him too.'
'He''s dead...whats his name?'' I said sounding bored.
'his name is James Bond 007!' spok the Queeen.
--------
Next chapter( chapter too ) = laura visits a z00.
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